This article was originally written by Kate Rietema and published to Lifeway Research.
Our first foster placement arrived 14 years ago. I was a young mother, passionate about living for Jesus and walking in obedience. When I felt Jesus nudge my heart toward foster care and adoption, I fully trusted He would provide all I needed. But after we picked our foster son up from the pediatric intensive care unit, it didn’t take long for me to feel completely overwhelmed.
At the time, I didn’t know anyone else involved with foster care, and if there were resources in our area, I didn’t know about them. This period was so difficult that after our foster son left, it took six years before I had enough courage to accept another long-term placement.
In the last decade, I believe the church has grown tremendously in its knowledge and ability to care for foster and adoptive families, so thank you for the good work you’re already doing. As you continue to care for these families in your church, be prayerful, creative, and flexible. Remember each child will come with their own set of needs and giftings. And each family will benefit from different supports. As you seek to serve your families, consider the following ideas:
1. Be informed
Do you know the needs of your community? How many children are in foster care in your county? How many children are waiting to be adopted in your state? Who in your church is adopted? What families are involved with foster care?
Have you heard about the recent changes for international adoption? Between 2004 and 2022, intercountry adoption has decreased by 93%. This drop is due in part to increased ethical considerations, stronger foster care systems within nations of birth, and countries closing their borders to international adoptions. In 2022, U.S. families finalized less than 1,600 international adoptions. Compare this number with the nearly 53,700 adoptions from foster care and roughly 20,000 infant domestic adoptions.
Understanding these trends might help you anticipate the types of adoptions you’ll see in your church community.
2. Create support at church
Designate a church staff member as your adoption liaison. Depending on the size and structure of your church, this might be the children’s minister, special needs coordinator, or a dedicated volunteer. Your adoption liaison can help coordinate support for the family, build relationships with the child, and keep the church engaged with the work of foster care and adoption.
Support your adoption liaison in attending specialized training and conferences. Organizations such as the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) hold annual conferences, offering experienced keynote speakers and dozens of adoption-centered workshops.
Look around your children’s ministry area. Do the dolls in your nurseries, books on your shelves, and artwork in your hallways represent a beautiful range of cultures and skin tones? Would a child of color feel welcome in your space? Make sure you have updated, adoption-specific books (for both children and adults) available in your resource area.
3. Offer support at home
Consider what assistance your church is able to offer, then ask families what would be helpful. Your church’s list might include providing:
—Meals or groceries
—Transportation or help with errands
—Lawn care or house maintenance
—Clothing or material needs
—Companionship or in-home help
—Tutoring, mentoring, or playdates for their child
—Financial assistance to attend a foster/adoption conference
—Specific prayer requests
4. Collaborate
There’s often no need to create a huge adoption program from scratch. Research what resources are already available within your community. You might find local organizations that lead support groups, offer respite nights, run clothing closets, distribute first night bags, or deliver meals. As a church, partner with these established organizations through volunteering, hosting a pajama drive, or offering financial support.
If your church doesn’t have local programs to partner with, expand your search to national organizations. Often, it’s easier to implement supports that already have an established framework in place. Check out CarePortal, Promise 686, and Orphan Sunday (coordinated by CAFO).
Collect brochures from your chosen partners to display in your resource or ministry areas. Show your church adoption and vulnerable children are a priority by giving stage time to highlight your church’s involvement. Allow for short testimonies from volunteers who have been impacted by serving vulnerable children.
5. Pray
Encourage your elders or prayer teams to pray regularly for foster and adopted children, families, and prospective families. Start by using the prayer list below and get more specific as families present requests. Keep individual requests confidential.
Remember that follow-up builds relationships. Did you pray for a court date last week? Send the parents a quick text to ask how it went. This lets the family know you’re praying and care about them and their children.
Prayer list:
—That God would break your church’s heart for children who need a home
—That individuals, couples, and families would step out boldly to accept the call of caring for vulnerable children
—That the church would embrace its foster and adoptive children with love, patience, and persistence
—That your foster and adoptive children would begin to heal from their trauma, find belonging and purpose in the church, and accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior
—That your church would be wise, bold, and generous in supporting foster and adoptive families
—That God would strengthen, encourage, and provide for birth parents
—All specific requests from families
6. Lead by example
How are you personally involved with caring for vulnerable children? Take a moment to ponder this question. Each of us is called to care for orphans. There are no exceptions. Have you asked God how He wants you to move in this area? And have you laid your willing heart before the Lord and submitted your family structure fully to Him? Have you discussed adoption, foster care, and family preservation with your spouse? Have you challenged your staff in this area?
I’m certainly not arguing every family is called to adopt, but I believe God has nudged far more families than the few who have answered yes. It’s tempting to wait for spiritual signs of billboard proportions. And if a flashing arrow doesn’t appear, we breathe a sigh of relief assuming we haven’t been called. But I think we have this backwards. Based on Psalm 82:3, maybe we should begin with the assumption that we’re all called to adopt unless God gives us a flashing no” Dedicate time this week to pray about adoption. Consider your own heart in this matter.
A leader who sets the example of adoption is the greatest support of all. You will understand what your church’s foster and adoptive families need because you will be humbly living the experience alongside them. And in saying yes to adoption, you will embolden others to do the same.
It’s a great privilege to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the foster and adoptive community. May each of you find abundant joy in this work.
