Every morning when she opens her eyes, Erica Patrick thanks God for life and breath and another day to serve Him.

Before her feet hit the floor, she asks Him to take control of her day — to fill it with the good works He has ordained for her and to remove the plans that are not from Him.

Erica’s daily expression of her dependence on God, and a high view of His sovereignty, has been cultivated amid seasons of deep grief and loss, mere months apart.

Erica was called to international missions before she met her husband, David, who also wanted to pursue ministry overseas. Together, they served in East Asia and raised their family overseas for almost 16 years before David died unexpectedly in 2020 at age 41.

But Erica’s call to the nations remained.

In the days following David’s death, Erica returned to the words from Psalm 115 her husband had used to comfort her during an earlier season of suffering — “Our God is in the heavens; he does whatever pleases him.”

“The Lord has done this,” David told her at the time.

“He did this, and He led me into it,” Erica said, speaking of David’s death. “And it is for His purposes and His glory. So, I can trust Him in it.”

But her view of God’s sovereignty has not always led her to a place of trust. Instead, her faith has been refined by the moments when she felt it might fail altogether.

Asking tough questions

Several months before David died, the Patricks were unexpectedly forced to pack up their home and leave East Asia within a matter of days. Erica knew God was sovereign, but it led her to question Him.

“I had a very high view of God’s sovereignty in that I was very angry about it,” Erica said. “‘You did this to us,’” she told the Lord. “‘We gave You everything, and You did this. Why?’”

As the Patricks grieved the difficult, unwanted separation from their home and friends, and the unexpected end to a season of life and ministry, David quietly encouraged Erica to trust God for whatever He ordained. They could not have foreseen that God was preparing Erica for an even more painful separation to come, refining the faith she would desperately need later that year.

When that time came and she navigated the depths of grief without her husband by her side, God’s sovereignty became her comfort and her fortress, His promise kept that He would never leave her nor forsake her. In His strength, Erica stepped back into life on the mission field without her husband.

“Daddy’s not with us,” Erica told her children. “But this is what God has called us to as a family, so we will keep going in that.”

Erica now serves in Taiwan with her three children. She has many roles — serving alongside the local church, teaching English as a Second Language classes, sharing the gospel, discipling women in leadership and being a mother.

“Yes, I’m a single parent on the field,” Erica said, “but I don’t feel like that’s a disability. It’s the lot the Lord gave us and what He has asked us to walk in for His glory.”

New perspective

Suffering and loss have clarified her perspective on her life and transformed her approach to ministry.

“I had this big, wonderful plan for my life, and it was all turned upside down in a moment,” she said, “losing our home and our ministry, and then losing David. And I was like, I have no control over any of this. I really am just at the mercy of the Lord to provide and to show me the way.”

As opportunities for ministry arose after Erica and her children returned to the mission field, she took each one to the Lord.

“I just asked, ‘Lord, did you give this to me?’” she said. “And ‘I will walk in this.’”

Ephesians 2:10 (ESV) has been her bedrock: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

“And so, we do that no matter what,” Erica said. “And you know, no matter where I was in the world, I was going to be living for Him. I just wanted to do it in Asia with the IMB.”

The tragedies and traumas of a single year have indelibly shaped Erica’s life and fueled her desperation for Him in every moment. Though suffering and grief have been hers in full measure, so has Jesus.

“Maybe the Lord has walked us into this valley of the shadow just so that we can walk through it with Him,” Erica said. “These trials are meant to refine us so that our faith may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

It is this high view of God that has propelled her through the darkest hours of her life and solidified her call to take the gospel to the nations.

This article was originally published by the International Missions Board. Feature image courtesy of IMB.